If you haven’t checked it out already I would highly suggest checking out my previous post where I talk about my new book and introduce the topic of boundaries and balance. This blog post is the first in a mini series I will be doing based on the chapters in my book. In this post I will go over some brief points from Chapter 1.
Boundaries? What are they?
First things first what are boundaries? Boundaries are a tool to communicate expectations and have matching behaviors with whomever you are communicating with. They can help you protect your energy and help you live a more healthy, balanced life! When you set a boundary with someone it also allows them to understand what your expectations are on how they should interact with you. Boundaries should ideally be healthy for everyone involved.
Most people have heard the term energy vampires and honestly we have a lot more opportunity to control our energy output by establishing healthy boundaries in our personal and consistent relationships. Imagine if you could stop negative emotional energy being spent on frustrating interactions with others? What if you could help people to gently work better with you and consistently interact with you with better collaboration?
It might seem almost impossible at times to expect people to change or yourself to change for the greater good but there’s a lot of opportunity on the table when you take time to plan ahead or spend time correcting the interactions that are important or routine in your important relationships.
Expectations
You may have certain expectations that you want people to follow however given the circumstances they might not always be possible. Some things that may get in the way of your expectations could be what kind of relationship you have with the individual, the time it takes to implement the things you expect or the things the other party expects.
t can be complex after setting boundaries to track the amount of time it takes to go from implementation of boundary setting all the way on to the boundary work being stable and reinforced with ease. Having expectations that are flexible are a pretty big help for your boundary practice.
The Importance of Boundaries
Boundaries are important because it communicates your expectations with individuals in order to allow for the behaviors that you seek from others or to find the middle ground between their expectations and yours. If neither individual is familiar with each other's boundaries it can cause a lot of unnecessary resentment, tension and frustration.
It can be complex after setting boundaries to track the amount of time it takes to go from implementation of boundary setting all the way on to the boundary work being stable and reinforced with ease. Having expectations that are flexible are a pretty big help for your boundary practice.
Boundaries and Balance
Setting boundaries should be a collaborative exercise particularly when it comes to conflict resolution. It should be less about blaming and more about what we would like and what we expect and ensuring we enforce them. If we simply state what we want but our actions don’t align with our words then our words hold no weight.
Throughout the upcoming mini series on boundaries we will cover various scenarios such as boundaries with friends, at work, home and beyond. The book goes into much greater detail on the topics we will cover and it also includes worksheets, prompts, templates, etc.
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