Holistic Therapy Tips: How to Feel Less Emotionally Sensitive Or Reactive
Feeling emotionally sensitive or reactive is not much fun. One minute your mood is good and then the smallest of unexpected events can change the rest of your entire day. For example you go to Starbucks and the Barista doesn’t greet you or get your name spelled right. You may feel slighted and “in your head” for hours thinking of different reasons why the interaction went the way it did. You might even decide to not go back to Starbucks for a while because the anxiety of having to deal with the Barista makes you feel like you’ll have to bat away potentially more negative energy. Maybe this example reminds you of an interaction with a co-worker, or a partner, or maybe this example reminds you of a friend.
The feeling however is the same. The feeling is one where you feel your emotional resilience being swept from under your feet by an unexpected interaction, conversation, or behavior. The person on the other end could be someone you care about or love, or it could also be an interaction with a complete stranger and it still feels just as painful. When you feel emotionally sensitive or reactive consider the tips I will be sharing below in order to feel more grounded and steady.
Connect More With Your Needs
Did you know you are more likely to have emotional reactivity if you are not taking time and space for your own personal needs consistently? One of the superpowers of self-care and feeling grounded is that when we spend time and attention connected to our own needs we feel emotionally nurtured and cared for. If we aren’t spending time connecting with our personal needs you may begin to feel emotional overwhelm more quickly as your needs begin to pile up and compete which makes it easier to become emotionally reactive and focused on external experiences, behaviors, and conversations.
It’s important that we carve of space and time daily to take care of our personal needs to do basic acts of self-care consistently. Some basic self care practices that help you include eating meals regularly, hydrating, showering daily, getting dressed daily, seeking out daily inspiration, laughing, and practicing affirmation daily all matters in how you will feel emotionally and how you will react to others.
Think About Why You Feel Emotionally Sensitive Or Reactive
What is it about the interaction that causes you to feel reactive? What makes you feel triggered emotionally? In repeat interactions or experiences where you find yourself feeling more and more triggered consider what it is about the interaction that makes you feel upset. Consider using a curious and neutral process where you can look at the interaction that happened without blame or reaction to look deeper at what about the interaction makes you feel your personal expectations were not considered or respected. In the case of the Starbucks Barista, maybe your expectation is that they would be kind and say good morning as a standard pattern. When store clerks don’t greet you it triggers old feelings of being ignored or mistreated from other areas of your personal past.
Once you can pinpoint your link to the emotional reactivity, you can also dismantle the impact by asking yourself an alternative question of:
“What if this has nothing to do with any of those experiences”
“What if I isolate this experience from my past or similar experiences”
These questions are meant to help our logical brain connect with the present and to separate our emotional reactivity into one experience rather than grouping our experience with all of our similar past emotional experiences that causes the emotional overload aka emotional pile up. Ideally separating and isolating your interactions to make them singular vs. collective also helps your emotional mind rest and you step away from being “in your head” for hours and days at a time.
Recover With Independent Creative Learning And Expression
Your emotional recovery can speed up when you make time to recover by taking time where you focus on doing actions that make you feel happy and recharged. Consider your favorite past times or hobbies. Consider learning a new hobby as well. Spending your time learning a new skill takes time and attention where your brain actively engages in the process, which makes it easier to stop thinking about your emotions, interactions, and relationships. Consider activities like painting, coloring, doodling, reading, Listening to upbeat positive music and cleaning, cooking, organizing your home or office, or going for a long walk to change your environment.
Applying the practice of increased self-care daily and doing personal reflection of why you feel emotionally reactive can help you feel more grounded and emotionally strong. Also consider writing down the 2 emotional organization questions listed above and seeking space for independent creative learning or expression. You’ll notice your reactivity decreasing and a feeling of being more in control of your emotions.
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