Fear of Rejection: How to Reduce F.O.R. To Feel More Confidence & Peace: Holistic Therapy Tips
Today’s topic is all about dealing with fear of rejection. This is another piece of the self care series. I’ll be discussing ways you can overcome your fears, doubts and second guessing behaviours. When we think of fear of rejection it’s another facet of imposter syndrome which lands under the umbrella of self doubt.
To help you relate I’m sharing a story of how this topic has been showing up in my life. I recently signed up for a dance cardio certification program. As a personal trainer I regularly like to up level my education. This is a great thing to do for everything as learning new things is a way to make life more interesting and challenges our brains and bodies. I’ve never been the type of person who is first on the dance floor so I thought doing this program would be a fun way to break me out of my shell. As a natural introvert I enjoy observing more so than being the center of attention. While working through the program I noticed that I was experiencing the fear of rejection while working with 25 other students and about 6 teachers. I was also experiencing fear of failure because I was trying something I had never done before. It’s normal to have these feelings when we are trying something new. I realized that while I was focusing on being someone who is well liked I was being pulled out of the present moment. I wasn’t thinking of my experience instead I was thinking of the experience I wanted others to have in association to myself. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing however it is something we can be mindful of. Below you’ll find my top three holistic therapy tips to support you if you have been dealing with fear of rejection and it’s been holding you back from doing something that is valuable to you. Follow these tips to feel more confident and manage your fear of rejection.
Create balance
When you are learning something new it’s normal to worry about how others will receive us but we also want to be present and identify what feels good to us. Keep in mind what it is that will help you feel good as you work on your goal or task. If you are solely focused on external circumstances and feedback you will begin to notice you feel more empty, more distraught and more reliant on feedback from external parties. Try to balance what feels good in your experience mentally and physically while also doing your best and listening to ways you can improve. The key is to not be exclusively focused on your impression and more focused in your body. That way you can show up and do your best work as your best self. When you show up as your whole self that gives more information to whichever group you happen to be in and it allows them to get to know who you really are.
Focus on a positive outcome
When we expect a goal to go well we are happy but usually if we don’t reach the goal or are unsuccessful we typically view that as a flaw in ourselves. Instead of viewing the goal you are working on as a win or a fail, start to see the other benefits of the goal. Some of these benefits could be that you are grateful for showing up or that you appreciate what you have learned from the experience. Even if the outcome doesn’t turn out the way you wanted you can still see the value in the goal. Focus on the small win milestones that happen throughout the journey versus the outcome. Being outcome oriented will limit your ability to be present and feel stratified within yourself.
Seek support
There is a lot of value in having a support system with boundaries. I recently wrote a book about boundaries if you’re interested in learning more. There is something to be said about asking for support from loved ones, friends or others and being very specific about the kind of support you are seeking from those individuals. Outlining your expectations helps you to have a better experience. For example, if you are interested in improving your health and you ask your partner to support you but don’t outline the ways in which you want their support then you could instead end up feeling overwhelmed by their questions or habits. Instead you can tell them to ask you specific things such as “how are you enjoying your journey?” or ask them to help you stay motivated with the progress you are making. When your support system follows up with you they have a guideline of what it is that you need from them. This can avoid any communication breakdowns or feelings of resentment, etc. Ultimately you will have to decide which type of support you need whether it’s in the form or a therapist or friend whichever is going to suit your needs on your current journey.
The above tips of creating balance, focusing on positive outcomes and seeking out support will help you navigate and feelings around fear of rejection or self doubt when those experiences arise in your life.
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